Lessons In The Chapter Called Life!!!!

Life for us in these times has become nothing less than a never ending chore. Often we just go through the motions without taking time out to sit back & ponder over what actually is this inexplicable phenomenon called Life. For ages Gurus, philosophers, literary geniuses, thinkers have tried explaining it, understanding it, comprehending this puzzle- but no one has got the formula right, that’s the beauty of it. The myriad layers that make up Life are what that add the flavor, like peels of onion which keep on unfolding as you go on, the only difference being Life’s so called layers never cease to surprise you & shock you .  The sad part is, we have forgotten that art of enjoying this phenomenon, almost become numb by material gains, ego, negativity – as Osho says “You are creating your own hell”.

When we become blinded by all this smog of vices, we close a window – not intentionally though. This is the window which lets the light enter our mind, our body & our soul, as we close this window we stop living life, the evolution of our mind & character hits a roadblock. In the course of time we fail to see what lessons, life has taught us. The most amazing lessons often come through pain, failure, loss – until you feel them your character will be shallow. I often see people who have had it easy, who have had life served on a silver platter delivered by their swanky butler, never seen a bad phase , never had their heart wrench in pain. These people forget one most important tenet in the lesson of life “Nothing is permanent” .Only the person who has been subjected to those tides of life, of time comes out stronger- he has learned some invaluable lessons which have added another dimension to his personality. Such a person becomes like a deep lake- calm, quiet & serene for he has seen all those rapids, typhoons which shook him up once. Even if life keeps on throwing those stones there is nothing more than a gentle ripple, which subsides soon.He has learnt his lessons, I myself have had my fair share of luxuries- a large part of my life so far has been easy, but certain life situations & people taught me my lessons. Last few years in particular were the game changers. Here I try to sum up some of those key points & invaluable teachings that I learnt-

1. Fear is our biggest enemy; try to free yourself from those cobwebs, set your mind free.
2. You won’t get this moment again- live in the Now, it has got all what you need.
3. Never make the mistake of getting into a comfort zone, your mind becomes stagnant there and then- that does not mean you spend your life worrying frantically, just at the back of your mind keep those reserve troops battle ready for facing & fighting any kind of situation.
4. This follows from the point above- “Nothing is permanent”. Neither those moments of joy nor the dark nights.
5. Family is more important than you might think, I somehow learnt this quite late. Your parents may yell at you, get mad, probably might have even made some mistakes while bringing you up but ultimately its them who build your character, morals & principles more than anything else. The best gift a parent can give his/her child are the two ‘H s’ Humility & Honesty.
6. All your life you’ll meet new people, make new friends, the key is to identify who are worth sharing that camaraderie with. When you identify those right friends, never ever make the mistake of losing them, you might go through some rough phases & differences but never let ego come in between– it makes you blind. These are the people who become your family- they will fight for you, cry for you unlike the fake ones whose bond is as strong as the no of parties & outings you have with them. Time & distance are totally immaterial in such friendships. I am really lucky to have some gems whom I would cherish for life.
7. Don’t take life too seriously; don’t spend time overthinking– after a moment only negative thoughts would float in your mind.
8. It’s not wrong to show your emotions, to cry, show your love. It does not imply that you are weak. Emotions are the sign that you are alive- just be sure that you reserve them for the right people , because others would either be indifferent or go next level judging you.
9. Even if you keep on chanting that you don’t give a damn about what others think about you & what you do- inside every one cares like hell and there is nothing wrong with it, we are social animals after all, living in a world of judgmental people including ourselves.
10. Sometimes it’s best to forget all the 9 points above , all the gyaan that world is giving, do what you feel is right- indulge in things that make your heart happy, bring a smile to your face.

To be contd……..

When You Have A Bad Day

What do you do when you have a bad day. I am not sure what would be an appropriate answer to the question, coz a large part of having a bad day is one being faced with events & things that are not under your control.  Its often said that, and however clichéd it might sound – its not about the ugly situations that life puts you in, its about how you face it, the attitude you show towards the particular situation is what builds up your character. When I talk about having a bad day here, I am not talking about any catastrophic event that resulted in toppling the dynamics of your life or something which made you fall flat on your face.  For a fair number of days we are put in situations which cause us to loose our peace of mind. It might be some presentation at office that you screwed up, the argument with your partner that turned ugly, some job interview in which you got fired upon by a salvo of tricky questions or someone passing a comment which hurt you badly. We are always taught & preached to forget the past & look at the future. I go ahead & say, don’t get blinded by future too, instead think what can you do now. Indulge yourself in things or activities that you can do now to forget that pain & angst , let go off the negativity. Its easier said than done- specially if the root of the pain lies in things & people who matter to you a lot.

Now the question is- why is it so difficult?? I guess we as humans have that natural tendency of visualizing things in our mind- even if that is not done consciously , our mind has become trained over years to visualize those mental movies of outcomes of certain events which haven’t even happened. Its like predicting there would be life on Mars & then crying out loud & becoming grumpy when you don’t find it. Why heat up those neurons & stress the nerves unnecessarily on things that we cant possibly foresee. So the key is not to keep your brain engrossed & preoccupied about what that has not yet happened.  Try to focus on the present moment. Its not that it would transform each day of your life into a free holiday in Paris . You would have those bad days & hiccups, the only difference would be that you would not break you head over spilt milk, but instead occupy yourself with things you can do right now to make you feel positive, scrape off that layer of negativity that has got stuck upon you. Do things that lighten you up- go for a stroll, listen to music, talk to your friends/loved ones or do something which generally works for me- take a pill of Vitamin S– Sleep, lie down & doze off- it can work wonders. There is no standard formula that works for all- you got to figure out your own thing. So give that grey mass some rest- try to think less & smile more.